I'm notorious at the best of times when it comes to getting out of bed in the morning, especially if it's for something I'm not immediately excited about. My bosses, over the years, have so far failed to understand the difficulty I face each day with this exercise - some of them have even suggested I seek employment elsewhere because of this very reason - but I try not to let that get me down, afterall it's them at fault isn't it? I can't prevent them for thinking they should stir at the first hint of daybreak, I can't go around telling everyone that that's simply to let us know that the world's completed another turn, I can't reach everybody...just to explain that getting up early isn't really that clever either.
As the prospect of getting up on time perplexes me everyday, perhaps I should consider night shift work? Maybe then I'd finally be relaxed in my 'daily' routine, albeit at night, in the dark, when most people are snoozing...
But then I could legitimately watch all that late night telly...the Korean Snooker Open and the world championship radio controlled helicopter finals amongst other favourites.
Late sleeping is a disease that affects not only myself but many others. Indeed those of you who laugh in the face of early morning lethargy should take heed, at least, from (some of) the points laid out on Drue Miller's pages for the snooze-needy. Here lie the pleas and cries of some of the bravest 'easy risers' on the planet. Well, those with internet access and a desire to go looking for excerpts concerning the inability of some of us to clamber out of bed, only to be told we're late by someone who, not just at the end of the day, doesn't get it.
Some jobs require personel to be punctual, 'landlord' forinstance. If a publican is late opening, punters are likely to wander off, head held in hands, (and more importantly in a monetary sense, 'heads held in hand') seeking somewhere else to drown their wavering strands of emotion (I know, I used to arrive late at my local, and I was acting licensee!!). It's not something to be taken lightly - very much like sleep itself.
As I browsed the wonderweb for something else to bore you (yes YOU, you're the only one reading this!) with, I stumbled across the professed genius of Sue Cunningham, certified senior advisor.
Sue states quite clearly that, "In a survey of 1,200 allergy sufferers, 25% said nasal congestion kept them up at least five nights a week." Imagine that! A quarter of all gloopy faced sniff-suffering individuals, questioned on what prevents them snoozing, said they thought it was their blocked honkers! Well I'm not sure about you, but that's certainly hydrolic nail-gunned the tail firmly on farthest end of a mule for me...astonishing Sue, astonishing.
Seriously though, Sue's no fool. She's written (but forgotten to translate from her preferred professional lingo) a rather useful article on how to combat snoring, which as I can only imagine (having never slept with a bison) must be traumatic for many a'sleeper world-wide. Actually, come to think of it, I did share my bed with a mate once...his girlfriend has had gromits fitted...after one night, post pub session, they were both asleep in bed. He rolled over to face her mid-snooze and proceeded to spend the following 4 hours snoring into her ear. Point-blank range was in use at the time.
I'm still searching for a god to thank for saving me the same ordeal. Although that doesn't seem possible within the remit of
Christi(e Ins)anity...
Anyway, I'm parched...better head off and make some tea, and properly this time.
